Theory

Developmental Theory

Children change rapidly. If we want to understand their behavior, we have to learn about the sequence of these changes, and what to expect at different stages of development. There are several important categories of development, such as emotional and social; gross and fine motor; receptive and expressive language; and cognitive or intellectual. I use a developmental approach to understand a child's current functioning, and to understand how a certain strength or weakness has developed over time. At times children change so much that the normal equilibrium of family life can be disturbed, and a "developmental crisis" happens.

Adults also grow through developmental stages, and can experience developmental crises, such as the "mid-life crisis."

People often think of development in terms of "milestones." Some of the most visible milestones are sitting up, crawling, walking, and talking. Many skills have to be in place before a child can accomplish the most visible milestones. For example, the child must be able to control the head and trunk in order to sit independently. A child who is not walking by the usual age may not have a significant developmental problem if the skills leading up to walking are well-developed. However, a child who is not walking and hasn't established head control is facing much more serious difficulties. Milestones of emotional, social, and personality development are similar. For example, the milestone of having a successful sleepover with a friend must be preceeded by incremental social and emotional development. Behavior and feelings have different meanings depending on the child's age and developmental profile. For example, fears of monsters under the bed have very different meanings for a 4-year-old than for a 9-year-old. Defiance and temper tantrums must be handled very differently in a 3-year-old, 7-year-old, and a 13-year-old.

The stages of emotional, social, and personality development are generally less well understood than milestones of motor or language development.

One of the most comprehensive theories of emotional development is the Developmental-Structural Theory of Stanley Greenspan. Greenspan has identified six early stages of emotional development. In later works, he expanded on these through adulthood. Greenspan looks at an individual in terms of constitutional strengths and weaknesses and in terms of what stages the person has mastered. The constitutional part includes what strengths or weaknesses the person might have been born with, or acquired. An example of a constitutional strength would be exceptional skills at running, throwing and other gross motor activities. A constitutional weakness might be hypersensitivity to noise, so that the person may become disorganized or experience great pain around loud noises that most people can cope with. The person may have mastered all the stages of emotional development, or may have partially mastered some. The result of this evaluation is a profile of strengths and weaknesses which can guide intervention or decision-making (for example, what kind of school placement would be best).

Adolescents go through a period of rapid change both physically and psychologically. Personal and family stress can reach crisis proportions, and many people regard adolescence as a difficult time. However, adolescence is filled with opportunities for social, psychological, and emotional growth. There are few times in life when people are as ready and willing to change. Parents (and the adolescents themselves) can be frightened because parental control and authority seem less absolute and secure. Parents and their adolescents must learn new ways of communicating and negotiating with each other. The old ways of enjoying a close relationship with a parent usually have to change, since they may seem immature and babyish to a growing adolescent. There may be a period of outright rejection of parental closeness. The adolescent may appear to substitute dependence on peers for former dependence on parents. While sometimes difficult, this is a stage on the path towards real independence.

Parents must also change and develop in response to their children's growth. For example, setting limits must be done differently at different developmental stages. In addition, the expression of affection appropriate for very young children is different from that for adolescents. The questions children ask at one stage can be much harder on parents than the questions were at an earlier stage. When parents have had a particularly difficult time at one stage in their own lives, they can find that same stage of their children's lives more difficult. If this happens, parent counseling or psychotherapy can be helpful.